Drawing Closer to Jehovah

Dear Noah

You are helping me draw closer to Jehovah.  Not just because as your parent I want to be a good example and therefore am working harder to strengthen my relationship with Jehovah, but because I now better understand how he feels about me.

The love I have for you is different than any love I have felt before. I understand when parents say they would do ANYTHING for their children. 

Jehovah's love for us is often compared to the love a mother has for her children.  Only now do I  understand what that really means.  How he really feels about me. I have always struggled with understanding that he values and loves me. I knew it, but never understood it. I know that Jehovah is forgiving and puts our sins as far off as the sunset. I know that he wants to protect us and feels hurt for us when we stumble and fall. But now I feel what that must be like. Granted this will even more meaning as I gain more experience as a parent.

There have been few times my son has gotten so upset and over tired that he has thrown a tantrum and I have felt like giving him a smack bottom.  But as soon as he stops and looks up and me, I can see he just doesn't know what else to do and he looks to me for comfort and answers.  My heart swells with love, just pure love, it pours out, the desire to comfort, to help and to teach him how to deal with his emotions. Any thought of disciplining you is gone. it is replaced with love.  Then there is the desire to protect you no matter what and the desire to see you happy and healthy.   We as humans are like babes, we make mistakes, we "act out" based on emotions and inexperience.   Jehovah looks down on us when we "act out"  with such love, and as soon as we look to him for support and comfort its there, along with compassion and the desire to guide, to see us happy and safe. The other side of the coin is the pain he must feel to see his children rebel and reject his parenting... his angelic creation too! I can barely imagine his grief. Then to watch his son go through everything he did. I would die inside if I lost my child and that's after two months of bonding. Only now am I grasping more fully his love for me because I am now a mother.

It would be hard to understand his love if you didn't feel it as a child from a parent. That guiding hand of love.  So its my mission to make sure you feel that love Noah, so you can have a better understanding of the love Jehovah has for you.  If I love you like that, Jehovah does 1000x more so. But only when you become a parent will you fully understand the extent of his love. 


Your loving Mother always X

Stop to Smell The Roses .... Or In My Case Daipers

Dear Noah

When you do the same thing again and again on a regular basis, it often becomes automatic, routine.
The midnight and 4am diaper changes are one of those things. Half awake, but mostly asleep, I pick you up out of your co sleeper and start the routine. Change diaper, while you moan and wriggle still sleepy but now hungry, feed, burp, back to bed.

This time as I lay you down on the changing table and start to undo your onsie, I notice your quiet and not wriggling or moaning. I turn and look down at you to see you beaming back at me with the widest smile I have ever seen. I literally laugh out loud (quietly of course its 4am)  You stop me in my tracks, and slow everything down as we savor this moment.  Your smiling and talking to me and I'm melting in your gaze grinning from ear to ear. We spend the feeding time together awake enjoying each others company. I couldn't care less that its 4am, I am loving every moment with you.

You have the gift of slowing down time as it were. I am remembering to stop and put the less important things on hold so we can enjoy moments that seem to last forever. If only!

I wish I could tape all our moments together, so I never forget. So they are always as fresh as when they happened. 

I love you Noah

Always your loving mother X

3 Months

Known For

Sucking on his hands
Putting things in his mouth
Smiling and being Chatty
lots of spit up


Loves

Baths
Being held
Watching people
Napping with mummy
Being with Daddy


Does not like

His car seat as he cannot see anyone
Falling asleep makes him mad
Binky is a love hate thing

Learning to Sleep

Dear Noah

You have been learning to sleep. Its strange that you would have to learn how to fall asleep, but you do. You have to learn that it is safe to fall asleep. You have to learn what tiredness is and not to fight it. You had to learn to fall asleep on your back and on your own.

You learn't it pretty fast. With in 24 hours you had gotten used to your co sleeper and where taking regular naps. I am so proud of you. It turns out that being with you as you fall asleep is now one of my favorite times with you.

Daddy and I took turns soothing you the first few times we  tired to put you to sleep on your own. It took over an hour, one of us laying by your side so that you knew you where safe.  Eventually you fell asleep and very quicky you decided this was your sleeping place and sometimes you wanted to be there.

 I still lay by your side when you fall asleep. You are your sweetest then, looking, smiling and talking to me. Your eyes full of trust and love.  Then you get fussy, your still learning to distinguish between your emotions which leads you to get a little mad before you finally fall asleep. 

I cant resist it but sometimes I pick you back up and if your especially fussy let you fall asleep next to me on the bed. I love that just being close to me calms you down and I feel the stress leave your tired little body. Its something I need as you no longer nurse, I miss that bonding time.

I love more each day Noah. You are such a precious gift and a sweet sweet boy. Always keep that sweetness that melts my heart.

Your loving Mother always

Your first time sleeping on your back

                                                Laying next to you to sooth you as you sleep